I pick up good stories where most people do -- from their hairdressers. My latest story is no exception. My sweet-as-sugar hair stylist at Panyc Salon (blatant plug alert!) recently told me the true story of a quirky elderly couple; we'll call them "Frank" and "Mary" because those are good 'quirky, elderly couple' names. So Frank and Mary were an elderly couple who were married for the better part of 50 years. They had their ups and downs as most married couples do, but on the whole had a happy partnership based on mutual love, commitment, and respect.

      Towards the end of the marriage, things got rocky. Frank became depressed and bitter, Mary became angry, fights were had and names were called. Now the calm and happy moments which used to pervade and define the couple's relationship became the exception rather than the rule. After much torturous debate and contemplation, as well as last-ditch efforts to save the marriage (the two even entered couples' therapy at one point), Mary and Frank decided to call it quits. Their children were devastated and everyone who knew the couple was shocked by this abrupt and sad turn of events.

      Now I know what you're thinking; you're thinking "that's a damn shitty story, Alana. Thanks for sharing and getting my cereal soggy with tears." But that's not where the story ends, kind folk. You see, after formally separating, Mary and Frank became just as devastated and saddened as the people around them. Mary missed her "best friend" of over 50 years, and Frank could not walk the dog without crying. They sorely missed each others' voices. They began to call one another just to talk, and meet for coffee to catch up on each others' weekly happenings. Slowly but surely, the two felt old sparks starting to re-kindle, and the belly laughter they used to share beginning to well up again.

      So you all know where this ends, right? Frank and Mary get married again, and we all live happily ever after? Not so fast.

      Although the lovebirds were thrilled at their succesful reunion, they did not want to jeopardize what they finally had going with the legally binding contract of marriage. Moreover, they did not view it as necessary. They were so pleased with the newness and excitement that accompanied their post-separation dating arrangement that they decided to dispense with the "formality" of marriage entirely, and just see where the romance would take them. So the two would take taxi rides to each others' (newly separate) houses. Feeling like giddy high school sweethearts, they would gleefully announce to their taxi drivers that they were heading over to see their boyfriend or girlfriend. Frank and Mary would share candlelit dinners and re-discover one another's old quirks and habits. Their loved ones, though slightly confounded by the couple's strange new arrangement, were happy to see them reunited at last. And approximately two years into this set-up, they are still going strong.

      Part of why I found the story of Frank and Mary so poignant was because as a society, we are constantly boxed in by traditional parameters and labels; told who to love, how to love, and by what means. We are made to feel inadequate if the labels do not suit our needs or if our own brands of love meander outside of the norm. Frank and Mary found themselves in a quandary when the box began to seem ill-suited to their love, and instead of giving up, they altered the corners to their liking.

      I can't help but think of that famous quote by Marcel Proust, "The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Frank and Mary, wherever you are, I wish you both the best of luck in your voyage.

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