Fig A. If you thought Michelle "Bombshell" McGee looked "trashy", Let me introduce you to Mr James' Ex-Wife, Janine Lindemulder. (Occupation? You guessed it: Porn Star)

 Oh, we all feel for you, Sandra. Your husband, Jesse James, married twice before (once to a tattoo-covered porn star, Fig A), cheated on you with a girl who, like him and unlike you, was covered in tattoos. Yup. No one could have seen that coming. I mean, here's a guy who's built a reputation on being Mr I-will-build-you-a-custom car/motorcycle/whatever (with 10 times the legal exhaust (!), no less), covered in tattoos, and here you are, little miss Bullock. Sure, we saw you in Miss Congeniality. You're tough. You like to act mean. But look, dating football players in high school won't cut it. Your momma was an opera singer and your daddy was a voice coach. A voice coach. You cannot compete in this territory.

 Michelle "Bombshell" McGee was the "trashy" girl's name. She's the one who did this to you. Let's see what the media has to say:

CBS news reports: TMZ also reports that in child custody documents filed in January, McGee's ex-husband says [McGee] "makes the Nazi salute," and has a swastika tattooed on her stomach. CBS has seen many photos of McGee and has not seen a swastika there.

Thanks for looking at all those photos of McGee for us CBS! That's hard work! Gee, and to think you could be out there, I don't know, investigating Wall street fraud instead... (CBS also has a photo special called: "Breaking up is hard to do, especiallywhen you are in the public eye." The irony, apparently, is lost.)

TMZ reported: TMZ has obtained the shocking photos of Michelle McGee, which were taken almost a year ago. We're told the Nazi-themed layout -- complete with a swastika armband and backdrop -- was the photographer's idea, but that Michelle was very enthusiastic.

Ooooooh, shocking. We just have one question for TMZ: have you ever seen any, um, porn? Like porn with tattooed girls in it? It can sometimes be... what's the word I'm looking for.... shocking! While some people need to get out more, I think you guys maybe should stay *in* a bit more. Seriously, go git yurselves a Suicide girls account. That stuff is pretty tame, but it will give you an idea, and those people are all lefty socialists. Okay, we actually have another question for TMZ: What about the photographer? Anyone after that guy?

People tells us: "[Jesse] wants to save his marriage with the woman he loves more than anything in his life."

so he checked into "treatment for personal issues". Well, actually, James didn't say how much he loved Bullock, his Lawyer did, but I'm sure everything will be fine after he comes out of treatment, right? That always works.

Lisa Guerrero admits: I scored the first T.V. interview with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee.... and I pretty much sucked at that whole fair and balanced-y thing.

To the point that, by the end of the interview, she made McGee cry. Seriously. Bad girl McGee. Heartless, trashy baddass home-wrecker media-whore McGee. Doesn't quite add up, does it? Guerrero snarkilly concludes: "After I left I kinda felt bad. But not for very long."

Thanks Lisa. Your thought and insight are a real credit to journalism.

Well, I'm glad I read all that. Now I know I can go cheat on my wife and blame it all on the Nazi chick I sleep with. Oh, and I'll make sure to get my lawyer to tell my wife how much I love her. Pfft, whatever, he knows to do that, that's like, in his contract or something.

No, I'm not saying Ms. McGee is a peach here or anything, but she's getting a lot of flack for what is, undeniably Jesse's fault. Why is no one snarking with glee about making Jesse cry, or calling Jesse trashy? The media circus here is all about snobbery and sexism and how good people like Sandra and Jesse were, essentially "wronged" by "trashy" women like McGee. 

Commenting on this Blog entry is closed.