Fig A. If you thought Michelle "Bombshell" McGee looked "trashy", Let me introduce you to Mr James' Ex-Wife, Janine Lindemulder. (Occupation? You guessed it: Porn Star)

 Oh, we all feel for you, Sandra. Your husband, Jesse James, married twice before (once to a tattoo-covered porn star, Fig A), cheated on you with a girl who, like him and unlike you, was covered in tattoos. Yup. No one could have seen that coming. I mean, here's a guy who's built a reputation on being Mr I-will-build-you-a-custom car/motorcycle/whatever (with 10 times the legal exhaust (!), no less), covered in tattoos, and here you are, little miss Bullock. Sure, we saw you in Miss Congeniality. You're tough. You like to act mean. But look, dating football players in high school won't cut it. Your momma was an opera singer and your daddy was a voice coach. A voice coach. You cannot compete in this territory.

 Michelle "Bombshell" McGee was the "trashy" girl's name. She's the one who did this to you. Let's see what the media has to say: