Nowadays, no major chain misses the opportunity to brand you when you leave the store with a nice shopping bag that identifies you, at least until you get home, as a happy customer of their empire. But what do these bags say about you?

I'm not saying there's anything fundamentally wrong with a fanny pack. It seems very practical. It's a backpack for your butt (provided you are not using the British meaning of the word fanny). However, practicality aside, I just don't see a fanny pack as a major bonus to anything, especially if you happen to be a fan, of say, Kesha. Excuse me, I mean Ke$ha. Apparently the marketing geniuses behind Ke$ha's new VIP tour disagree, and they think it's exciting enough to help entice you into paying extra to be a Ke$ha "VIP" on her new tour, as evidenced by the actual promotional email ticketmaster sent out.

Interestingly, they note that this is a "new design!" as if people weren't sufficiently excited about the old design, but of course, the concept itself wasn't the problem....

SCENE: Ke$ha Marketing Headquarters. Team Meeting.

Ke$ha Marketing Analyst: "People aren't really excited about this whole fanny pack, thing. We're getting only a 7.8 percent response rate and that's all negative."

Ke$ha Marketing Intern: "I have to agree. People are making fun of it on the blogs and talking about how disappointing it is."

Ke$ha Marketing Director: "I guess we should redesign the fanny packs, then."

Ke$ha Marketing Analyst: "That's not really what I meant--"

Ke$ha Marketing Director: "Okay folks, that's a wrap. Any other business?"

 Scientists from the University of South Florida today released a new study in the Journal of Cardiovascular Fitness with controversial findings. Among other things, it stated, "Despite the recent release of new shoes designed to help you get fit, it is actually possible to receive the benefits of exercise with ordinary shoes. In fact, our preliminary data suggests you might be able to get in shape barefoot."

We spoke with Doctor Mary Rosen who lead the team. "We were actually pretty surprised at these results. Everyone in the office has a pair of Fit-Flops, or [Reebok] easy tones and you can bounce a quarter off my ass. Seriously: a quarter. Just try it..." As Doctor Rosen started bouncing random objects in her office off her buttocks, we were interrupted by her Post Doc.

"Ah, this is Doctor Hao. She's got an even tighter ass than me, and she's 47. Seriously, 47 -- though you wouldn't know it from that ass of hers. Dr. Hao, show our guest your rear," As Dr. Hao excitedly turned around and removed her lab coat, Dr. Rosen continued. "We used to assume that derriere of hers was purely the result of her footwear, but our new data suggests her fancy shoes may have been only part of it."

Next, Dr Rosen showed me Natalia. "Natalia was in our control group. Can you believe it? These legs aren't from fancy shoes at all! We're looking to see if genetics played a part, of course, but that's for another study..."

When asked how this new data might impact daily health, exercise and gym routines, Dr Rosen laughed saying, "The gym? What for? According to this sketchers shape-ups ad, you don't need to go to the gym. And who cares about your health when you've got an ass like this?"

 When I decided to get a tattoo (not yet acquired) I searched for artists to convey that je ne sais quoi that I was after. Kelly Haigh pretty much fit the bill perfectly, so I have been mulling over her paintings lately. Naturally, I was delighted today to find some of her works on a clever little metel wallet and other chotchkies at Flirt in Brooklyn today, so I snatched one up. The photo does not do it justice.

 Behind that is the Acme Made Bowler handbag made especially for SLR Cameras. The description says "For Ladies", LoL! I put seven little spikes on it today. I bought those spikes years ago at Trash and Vaudeville (I think). Finally putting them to good use!

       The comparisons were inevitable. One is a sexually provocative, envelope-pushing, hit-churning, fashion-risk-taking, controversy-thriving, gay pop icon. And the other is....well, the same thing. While Gaga is clearly much newer to the fame game and has yet to demonstrate the enormous staying power of Queen Madge, they have both developed their own unique brands of cultural hysteria and fiercely loyal fanbases. Allow Chicktellectual to break it down for you.

When it comes to looking good in grad school, look no further than academichic, an awesome blog written by "Three feminist PhD candidates at a Midwest university, on a crusade against the ill-fitting polyester suit of academic yore." Yore? How about today? Man have you seen the way a typical PhD dresses? Like crap, that's how. But I digress, these PhDc's not only have a fab website (arranged with categories like "Funding" for ads, "Bibliography" instead of blog roll, etc), but they show off some truly adorable outfits on (mostly) grad-school budgets. And would we put them here if they didn't look smart and cute? Of course, with complete academic rigor, they show you how they put the outfit together and include well-photographed close-ups when necessary. This is no amateur fashion blog.

Is there feminist talk? Hells yea. As advertised. (although it is mostly in the comments).

 I previously reported incorrectly that Wonderbra had signed and then fired model Katie Green. After speaking with representatives from some of the parties involved, and doing a bit more research, here's the whole story, which unfortunately got a bit lost in our editorial backlogs. Apologies to Wonderbra.

Katie Green Stands in front of her Billboard.
Click to Enlarge.

Back in July of '08, Wonderbra announced it was inviting women of all ages, shapes and sizes to participate in what it called "Britain's biggest underwear photoshoot." The result of the photoshoot was a billboard mosaic made up of pictures of the 1,000 women who showed up and got free makeovers and photoshoots. Unfortunately, Katie Green, who was chosen to be the star of the shoot, (her picture would appear as the composite of the mosaic) forgot to leave her digits (probably out of habit from all those slimy pub nights, right Katie?). When Katie didn't get called back, she thought it was time to move on to other things, and was just about to apply to become a police officer when her friends told her that her photo was in the paper and that Wonderbra was looking for her.

If there's more to life than having ten dogs and designing retro bathing suits, Sheila Frank doesn't know what it is.

When I came across Sheila Frank, I immediately took notice of her retro bathing suits. These suits would look right at home on Betty Page (or if you're young and hip like that, let's say Katy Perry), but her other looks are thoroughly contemporary. They are simple, unique and elegant. We here at Chick tee dot com love the fact that her looks aren't just designed for barbie dolls, either: most of them will fit women of various body-types equally well, so you don't have to look like a model to, well, look like a model.

Sheila Frank's World

After trying to pose Sheila Frank (above, right) with makeup artist Sam Lennon (above, left) and their model (above, center, and below), Sheila just chilled out with them and had a laugh.

I visited with Sheila recently when she was in New York for a photoshoot. Crammed into a tiny bed-stuy appartment converted for use as a photo-studio, Sheila had assembled some amazing tallent. Interacting like seasoned pros, I was surprised that they had all met online and that they were all working for free in exchange for the right to use the photos in their portfolio. Sheila, on the other hand, hardly had to do anything, and when I asked her to stand next to the makeup artist and model for a picture she got uncomfotable and didn't know what to do -- it wasn't her place to be tinkering with makeup and so on. Eventually they just chatted and teased each other. Sheila said that on some occasions she would have the work sent away and not even gone to the shoot herself.

Bangs are hot.  If you don't believe me, just check out the hair of the people who know fashion the best: teens, musicians, models and those cute people at the clubs who you envy -- or want to get with.  They are wearing bangs and they look terrific.  Bangs are so popular that the sarcastic blog Stuff White People Like even had to have an entry about it.   However you look at it, though, there's no denying a good look, and the last few years has seen an explosion of bangs.  If you're considering jumping on the bang-wagon, now's your chance because with the help of some people who have some seriously great bangs, we're gonna show you how it's done!

Note from our friends across the pond: bangs are also called fringe hair!

Goth, emo, dark punk and related looks have been making inroads into mainstream fashion since... well... forever. Long ago, mainstream fashion discovered that it's not just a fad, and regular people don't have to seek out specialty stores or even Hot Topic to do the look. But let's face it, the complete vamped-out gothic-lolita style is not for everyone. Maybe you just want a touch. These looks have a lot of sex-appeal, but maybe it has too much charge for everyday wear. You can easily vary it so that the same look is appropriate for going to galleries, dancing or even a fancy dinner -- maybe even work, if you work somewhere laid back enough.

We thought we'd start off NYC Fashion week with a little tip from our good friend Liz who created a more subtle look you might want to try out.

Liz is a PhD student in psychology. She studies Asperger Syndrome.

[Editorial note: we were recently contacted by Wonderbra about this story because of some incorrect statements we made. For an update, we posted the full Katie Green story with a more accurate tale portrayal of Wonderbra.]

 You may not know who Katie Green is. Well, you are not alone. But Sony thought it would be clever to have her pose in her unmentionables for for their new press release showing how thin their new flat-screen TV is. The irony? Not too long ago she was fired by Wonderbra because she wasn't thin enough and refused to slim down. Of course, putting her in the TV pictures frankly makes it hard to see the TV, but I suppose that's one way of selling a £3000 ($4300) TV. You'd think just pointing out that it's the world's thinnest would be enough.

Nice... ahem... bike rack reminds us of Times Square of our youth.
Click Image for Full Size

Thanks to bike enthusiast David Byrne you can checkout great racks all over the city. You might remember David Byrne as an artist or perhaps as singer of the Talking Heads.

This lovely piece of art, which will be sold after it's been shown for a year, is being shown close to Times Square. This is Times Square more or less how I remember it. For those looking for a smarter rack, you can head over to the fashion district...