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 After reading this comic you might be thinking to yourself, "man, Bjorn has a really low opinion of marketing people," but actually what inspired this comic is not what you think. I happen to know a few really amazing marketing people. These people not only follow hip new trends and know what's up, but they actually understand things like how to analyze sales and other data to see if marketing campaigns worked. These folks also seem to use Twitter very effectively, and it got me curious, so I did some googling to find out how you might use that new-fangled twittery-thing for marketing purposes. The results of my research are in the comic.

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When the internet first came out people talked about how it was going to "democratize" free press, by which they meant lowering the barriers to entry (sort of like when Alan Greenspan said that sub-prime loans would "democratize" credit. They are confusing capitalism with democracy. Ayn Rand would be proud.) Well they were sort of right: it's really cheap to start a blog/website/online-magazine/whatever and tell people what you think about things. Look at me doing it right now! Unfortunately, for the most part, if you are highly opinionated, you will usually be preaching to the choir. So, in the end, democracy is pretty much unchanged.

Twitter is sort of the same way. It started out as something fun and when people started engaging in politics or news on twitter, suddenly it was changing the very nature of politics and news. Sane people knew this was ridiculous, but sane people can never stop the hype machine. Hopefully twitter won't be hurt by overblown expectations.

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In case you didn't know this about me, I am a big dork. Not only that, but I'm not really into new-fangled things like twitter, and so on. While I love computers, I have more in common with the old Unix guy with the beard than the kid at the dotcom with his fancy new laptop: I hate buying new laptops. I rarely get excited about new hardware or things like twitter. I don't plan to ever buy an iPhone, and it's only recently that I've seen any actual use to the web other than as a diversion. Still, I think this comic represents two sides of my geekiness.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this three-part comic series on why I still just don't get twitter. The next two will be more accessible.

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Amanda Ray in a Spooky Cave!

   Amanda Ray's Debut Album Mirrored Images recalls some of my old favorites like Massive Attack and Morcheeba, but also brings in the energy of electro-grunge bands like Garbage. Sade fans will also feel right at home in Ray's rich, deep vocals. While you, like me, may feel unable to not think of these other great musicians while you have Mirrored Images on your iTunes playlist (on repeat, maybe?) Ray adds her own voice and a smack of sci-fi to the unique mix. She draws from an era of music that is often considered stale by many music journalists (the 90's), but was actually rich with underground sounds and new forms of expression, which she has a keen ear for. Ray's soulful, powerful, yet subdued vocals bring the chill European-style hip-hop back beats to life. All together, I could see this album making an appearance wherever there is dancing, parties, lounging or just listening.

  One listen to Ray's striking vocals and it's clear that she's not new to music. She is new to making it her full-time career, though. Her first album was made in Atlanta while working a full-time job. Now she's in NYC with an intern, a new album and a tour in the works. This "black electronic sci-fi chick", as Trace magazine called her, has become a very busy woman! However, she made time to talk to us a little about songwriting and making a go as a career musician.

Yesterday, Oprah Winfrey interviewed Mackenzie Phillips, an actress and daughter of Mamas and the Papas singer John Phillips. Mackenzie said that her father raped her and eventually their relationship became "consensual".

While it's hard to imagine anything other than Stockholm syndrome, a comparison she herself makes, it does raise some important issues like how power is used and abused, how rape and incest perpetrators get away with their crimes, and can psychologically manipulate their victims, etc. Many people might ask why she continued this relationship long into adulthood.

If we believe Mackenzie (her father died in 2001) this is a clear-cut case. This is not something that anyone could claim is a fuzzy area: her father had been giving her drugs since she was ten and started raping her at 19 when she was passed out because he was jealous that she was getting married. So the fact that she talked about these issue in her book and with Oprah should be a good opportunity for a dialog about these issues.

So the blogosphere must be talking a lot about psychology and real-world implications of all this, right? No.

  An excellent production and top notch cast helped draw attention to Wildflower, and its young, up and coming playwright Lila Rose Kaplan. Although a few reviews, including the New York Times, challenged or were uncomfortable with Kaplan's choice of ending, most, including variety and curtain up were charmed, as I was, by her characters and the tale of a mother and her unusual son who escaped from New York City to a small town known for its annual flower festival.

The cast of characters includes an ex-drag queen who becomes the family's emotional and literal source of nourishment, as both mentor and innkeeper who cooks; a hard-on-the-outside-but-soft-on-the-inside forest ranger; a misfit, bubbly teenage girl; a recently divorced, struggling mother; and her son who, while intelligent, clearly has more difficulty deciphering human relationships than your average teen. While this list certainly passes any east-village political correctness checklist, it's clear that they were not created with this purpose in mind: Kaplan weaves them together in a natural way that give the audience an opportunity to see what they all have in common, and the different paths they took to reach the same end. The beauty of these characters is their realness, even when most of them are completely out of place.

We recently spoke with Lila Rose to ask her a few questions about Wildflower and her upcoming projects...

What every cougar wants to be: young-looking

  It's easy to criticize and make fun of the cougar mania that's grabbing the national attention right now, what with all the TV shows and the first national cougar's convention coming up and all (actually that's a bit surprising... there must have been others...). But let's face it, it is a bit fascinating. I mean, older women who men actually find physically attractive? Is that even biologically possible? Gosh, there's so much to talk about I'm not even sure where to start.

  Of course, to modern entertainment, a cougar couldn't be more exiting: it's a twist, but it's still sexy. Yes, men and women still play their traditional gender rolls (phew!) and nothing is really challenged so it's still safe for TV, and even, say, discussing at the water-cooler, but it seems like things are challenged, doesn't it? Perfect combo!

  So instead of criticizing, lets celebrate that we finally have something we can all agree on: cougars are awesome! They are just what every woman should want more than anything: to still be sexy at 50... er, maybe 40, we can't all be Demi Kutcher (yes, that's her name, now).

Thanks to KRO-media for the picture of the adorable little baby cougar. So little and cute and cuddly. Yes you are. Yes you are!

  My wife doesn't always like to stay up late and party like I sometimes do, so when she went out of town this week I took advantage of the situation and hung out with some friends at the TriBeCa Grand. I never dreamed the night would end up this way though.

 I previously reported incorrectly that Wonderbra had signed and then fired model Katie Green. After speaking with representatives from some of the parties involved, and doing a bit more research, here's the whole story, which unfortunately got a bit lost in our editorial backlogs. Apologies to Wonderbra.

Katie Green Stands in front of her Billboard.
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Back in July of '08, Wonderbra announced it was inviting women of all ages, shapes and sizes to participate in what it called "Britain's biggest underwear photoshoot." The result of the photoshoot was a billboard mosaic made up of pictures of the 1,000 women who showed up and got free makeovers and photoshoots. Unfortunately, Katie Green, who was chosen to be the star of the shoot, (her picture would appear as the composite of the mosaic) forgot to leave her digits (probably out of habit from all those slimy pub nights, right Katie?). When Katie didn't get called back, she thought it was time to move on to other things, and was just about to apply to become a police officer when her friends told her that her photo was in the paper and that Wonderbra was looking for her.

Helle Mardahl looking relaxed just a few days before her first NYC show opens up

 It's not often that you meet someone who says she gave up her successful career to become an artist because she was sick of working so hard for so little money. But that's how Helle Mardahl came to be an artist. In fact, she told me, "I believe in destiny and destiny told me to calm down a bit."

 I met Mardahl recently at LaViolaBank Gallery, where she was preparing for her upcoming show, The Largest Possible Audience. She was white-washing a canvas in preparation for a projection, which seemed more like a Zen exercise than work. We discussed her art and her previous career in fashion and I noticed that she certainly had the energy, passion and vigor of someone in fashion, but at the same time I also noticed an air of relaxation and even contentment about her. The satisfaction she seems to have found in developing the complex and intricate works she was putting up might have surprised her a few years ago, but her drive and determination didn't mean she had the manic furvor I've seen in so many fashion designers.

 Despite the complexity of her works, she explained her ideas and inspiration in very simple terms. People's obsession with the royal family, which inspired her last show, and people's desire for attention which inspired this show, are so simple that you don't have to be a 'tellectual to understand what she's talking about.

Earlier today:

Me: Let me get this straight. Last month you gave me the brand name prescription.

Duane Reade: right.

Me: But this month, you can't give me brand name because a generic version just became available...

Duane Reade: ...and your doctor didn't write dispense as written...

Me: but you don't have the generic in stock, even though yesterday you said you would have it in stock.

Duane Reade: ...er, right...

Me: So you can't give me anything.

Duane Reade: Right.

Eventually they concluded they could give me a smaller dose that I could take twice as many of to tide me over for a few days until I could come back for more, and, presumably, pay again.

Interview With One of England's Coolest Burlesque Dancers

Anna Fur Laxis
Everyday Wear
Photo by Candee Photography

On my list of American things -- way above apple pie, which isn't American, and motherhood, which we all know is universal -- is Bettie Page. Page, who passed away in December, is both the most unique and most iconic symbol of the entire so-called "Cheesecake" photography movement of the 1950's.

Recently, Cheesecake, along with burlesque, has seen a big comeback, and I had a chance to chat with one of Page's biggest admirers, England's Anna Fur Laxis, about her Bettie Page inspired modeling and burlesque show. Her sense of humor, fetish, and sexuality channel something that many people don't even know existed back then. So true to Bettie's spirit (not to mention appearance!) is Anna, that it was hard for me to remember that I was speaking with a Brit -- except when she said things like "uni" for university and used the occasional British spelling. Of course, there are a few other super British things she does in this interview, but I can't give away all the surprises!

If there's more to life than having ten dogs and designing retro bathing suits, Sheila Frank doesn't know what it is.

When I came across Sheila Frank, I immediately took notice of her retro bathing suits. These suits would look right at home on Betty Page (or if you're young and hip like that, let's say Katy Perry), but her other looks are thoroughly contemporary. They are simple, unique and elegant. We here at Chick tee dot com love the fact that her looks aren't just designed for barbie dolls, either: most of them will fit women of various body-types equally well, so you don't have to look like a model to, well, look like a model.

Sheila Frank's World

After trying to pose Sheila Frank (above, right) with makeup artist Sam Lennon (above, left) and their model (above, center, and below), Sheila just chilled out with them and had a laugh.

I visited with Sheila recently when she was in New York for a photoshoot. Crammed into a tiny bed-stuy appartment converted for use as a photo-studio, Sheila had assembled some amazing tallent. Interacting like seasoned pros, I was surprised that they had all met online and that they were all working for free in exchange for the right to use the photos in their portfolio. Sheila, on the other hand, hardly had to do anything, and when I asked her to stand next to the makeup artist and model for a picture she got uncomfotable and didn't know what to do -- it wasn't her place to be tinkering with makeup and so on. Eventually they just chatted and teased each other. Sheila said that on some occasions she would have the work sent away and not even gone to the shoot herself.

Bangs are hot.  If you don't believe me, just check out the hair of the people who know fashion the best: teens, musicians, models and those cute people at the clubs who you envy -- or want to get with.  They are wearing bangs and they look terrific.  Bangs are so popular that the sarcastic blog Stuff White People Like even had to have an entry about it.   However you look at it, though, there's no denying a good look, and the last few years has seen an explosion of bangs.  If you're considering jumping on the bang-wagon, now's your chance because with the help of some people who have some seriously great bangs, we're gonna show you how it's done!

Note from our friends across the pond: bangs are also called fringe hair!

Goth, emo, dark punk and related looks have been making inroads into mainstream fashion since... well... forever. Long ago, mainstream fashion discovered that it's not just a fad, and regular people don't have to seek out specialty stores or even Hot Topic to do the look. But let's face it, the complete vamped-out gothic-lolita style is not for everyone. Maybe you just want a touch. These looks have a lot of sex-appeal, but maybe it has too much charge for everyday wear. You can easily vary it so that the same look is appropriate for going to galleries, dancing or even a fancy dinner -- maybe even work, if you work somewhere laid back enough.

We thought we'd start off NYC Fashion week with a little tip from our good friend Liz who created a more subtle look you might want to try out.

Liz is a PhD student in psychology. She studies Asperger Syndrome.