Yo. What the fuck, man?
Halloween is right around the corner, which means stores are rapidly filling with revolting candy-corn creations and cheap polyester costumes. Among them: Slender Man costumes. And the parents of Waukesha County — site of this spring's "Slender Man Stabbing" - -are not happy.
Here's the good news. Colleges are taking Title IX seriously and asking that students be well-versed in substance abuse and sexual assault prevention. Here's the bad news: You may have to disclose how many people you've gone down on in the last three months.
Ill-founded or just plain lying negative reviews on Yelp are usually a reason for restaurant owners to lose sleep, as are Yelp's extortionist business practices. The owners of one restaurant near San Francisco, CA, however, have come up with the best and snarkiest possible solution to the problem.
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It has come to my attention that this fall, Erika Christensen and Hallmark will be releasing a monstrosity of a made-for-television movie entitled My Boyfriends' Dogs.
Oh, hello New York Times, it's so nice of you to come! I've been wondering when you were going to show up. Unfortunately, the spinach artichoke dip is a bit cold and the champagne has gone flat. Most of the guests are pretty tired. I don't know if you heard, but the party started about 50 years ago.
— Nancy Pelosi (@NancyPelosi) September 18, 2014
Victoria Beckham's first retail location will be opening in London in a few days and if you're in the area, you should pop by and have Victoria bring you the same skirt in a size up, please. Beckham told Grazia Daily that she will indeed be working in the store, likely spending her days refolding sweaters and organizing the jean wall.
News from the world of heavy metal: A woman is now the gore-smeared face of long-lived horror thrash group GWAR. Apparently she wears prosthetic tits that periodically spew blood and goes by "Vulvatron." (Legal name: Kim Dylla.) If you aren't familiar with GWAR, this clip from Beavis and Butthead pretty much provides the gist:
Et tu, J.Lo? We saw denim on denim on magazine covers , and on Beyoncé and Kaley Cuoco , and on Katy Perry and Riff Raff at the MTV Awards, and now here it is again, on Jennifer Lopez as she visits the Kips Bay Boys & Girls club in the Bronx, September 18, 2014. Additional images after the jump.
If you're dating online these days, you have my deepest sympathies.
Hi, I'm the new editor of Jezebel. I'm here from The Hairpin, which I edited for the past year, and before that, Gawker and Deadspin. I'm excited to be here, and to announce three new wonderful additions to the Jezebel staff:
Every time someone brings up the problem of sexism of the comics industry, there are always a few people who are oddly incensed. "It's bullshit! A double standard! You're the one with the issues!" they yell. They're wrong on all counts. Here's some helpful logic that proves why.
STOP EVERYTHING! The G-rated celebrity kid playdate slashfic of America's dreams is real. It's real and it happened.
Another day, another domestic violence arrest involving an NFL player. This one broke his wife's nose after she said she didn't want to have sex with him.
Next month, Her Grace the Duchess of Goop Gwyneth Paltrow will be hosting a fundraiser for the Democratic Party. Special guest: Barack Obama. Oh, Lord, to be a fly on those no-doubt very thoroughly scrubbed walls!
Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart addressed the several domestic abuse cases that are currently bringing scandal to the NFL and the disastrous way that the organization has handled them. "You know your business model is in rough shape when you need to appoint your own in-house Special Victims Unit," he began.
A delightfully disgusting website seeks to expose the savage behavior of human beings on airplanes. And it is truly, truly something to behold.