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Some Genius Designed A Hamster Wheel For Cats

Sat, 07/19/2014 - 10:00

Some Genius Designed A Hamster Wheel For Cats

It's called One Fast Cat. At 48-inches across, the circular, cat-powered cat-treadmill is a gigantified version of the exercise wheels commonly associated with lab rodents. It's designed to help your feline companion exercise indoors, when it isn't busy bringing death and destruction to the outside world .

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Ashton Kutcher and John Cryer to Get Gay Married on Two and a Half Men

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 19:00

Ashton Kutcher and John Cryer to Get Gay Married on Two and a Half Men

Oh, GUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH. Chuck Lorre has announced that Two and a Half Men's heterosexual main characters, played by Ashton Kutcher and John Cryer, will wed each other in a "hilarious" sham marriage so that Kutcher's stupid character can finally adopt the baby he's always wanted.

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Hotwives of Orlando Is for Real Housewives Lovers and Haters Alike

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 19:00

It's hard to believe that we even need a comedic and heightened version of the Real Housewives franchise when New York Housewife Aviva Drescher will literally be pulling off her prosthetic leg and flinging it on the table during a dinner party in next week's episode AND YET somehow the new Hulu series Hotwives of Orlando — a parody of the Real Housewives — is entirely necessary.

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'Lesboterrorist' Raps Instructions On How to Give Yourself an Abortion

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 18:45

'Lesboterrorist' Raps Instructions On How to Give Yourself an Abortion

Elective abortion is illegal in most Mexican states. But because it has other medical uses besides pregnancy termination, misoprostol — the drug used in inducing medicinal abortion — is not. Now, one ballsy-as-hell self-anointed "lesbo terrorist" rapper aims to educate women on how to self-abort.

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Jessica Biel Ate Cereal for Dinner Because She Is 'A Grown Ass Woman'

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 18:30

Jessica Biel Ate Cereal for Dinner Because She Is 'A Grown Ass Woman'

In today's Tweet Beat, nothing is stopping Jessica Biel, Josh Radnor's inner voice is pretty smart and at least Dianna Agron is having a good week.

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The Latest, Greatest Must-Have Wedding Accessory: Drones

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 18:15

 Drones

American weddings are endless one-upmanship. "Your signature cocktail and macaroons sound simply darling, but now you absolutely must have a terrarium for every guest!" — every bridal mag ever. The new hotness: wedding photography via drone.

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Woman Kicked Out of Philly Pool for Wearing American Apparel Bikini

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 18:00

Woman Kicked Out of Philly Pool for Wearing American Apparel Bikini

A Philadelphia barista and water sports enthusiast says she was ridiculed by staff and, eventually, prevented from swimming at a public pool for wearing a swimsuit that looked like "a bra and panties." It was, in fact, an American Apparel bikini, which she demonstrated by letting a male employee pull out the waistband of her bikini bottom to read the tag that said, "SWIM." This, apparently, was not enough, and she was kicked out anyway.

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TGIF, Here's a Cat Peeing On A Mole's Head

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 17:45

Because you can't be cute all the time.

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Science Magazine Cover's Depiction of Trans Sex Workers Sparks Outrage

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 17:30

Science Magazine Cover's Depiction of Trans Sex Workers Sparks Outrage

For the cover of its special HIV/AIDS issue, Science magazine chose to use an image of transgender sex workers in Jakarta. While the purported intent of doing so was to raise awareness about this "key affected population," many have taken issue with the fact that the photo in question is pretty damn objectifying and offensive.

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Lupita Nyong'o Is a Yellow Vision Of Fabulous On French Elle

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 17:15

Lupita Nyong'o Is a Yellow Vision Of Fabulous On French Elle

Lupita Nyong'o is on the cover of French Elle and she makes me want to live my best life, which can obviously only be attained by emulating her fabulousness. This cover follows the actress' appearance on the cover of American Vogue.

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Congressional Jerks Mansplain All Over Janet Yellen

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 17:00

Congressional Jerks Mansplain All Over Janet Yellen

Sometimes people show their true selves without realizing it and this week that award goes to Congress, specifically Reps Jeb Hensarling (R-Texas) and Bill Huizenga (R-Mich). The men asked many silly questions of the first female Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, then repeatedly cut her off before she could answer.

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Wanna "play at rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch"?

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:45

Wanna "play at rumpscuttle and clapperdepouch"? No, that's not from a New York Times trend piece; it's off this amazing list of historic slang terms for sexy times, compiled from Green's Dictionary of Slang by the wits at Mental Floss. Sure-fire crowd-pleasers include: "playing at couch quail" (1521) and "fadoodling" (1611). "Joining paunches," circa 1656, is my personal favorite.

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In a Fit of Rage, Real Housewife Throws Her Prosthetic Leg

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:30

Like any good Bravo TV show, this season of The Real Housewives of New York saved the truly batshit crazy footage for the very end. In a promo clip for the season finale, New York Housewife and Vassar grad Aviva Drescher throws her prosthetic leg across a room full of people to make a point about an insignificant issue that has been blown out of proportion for television.

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That Time You Got Really, Really Lucky

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:15

That Time You Got Really, Really Lucky

Welcome to Pissing Contest, a weekly story sharing circle for the the ass-draggiest time of the afternoon on the ass-draggiest time of the last day between you and the weekend. Every week, we'll ask a question, you'll share stories, and we'll pick a winner that's featured in the next week's post. It's like a pyramid scheme of outdoing each other!

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Watch Two Straight Minutes of Children Swearing in Movies

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 16:00

Because it is Friday, here (via Digg) is a mashup of children swearing in movies. (Some of them are teens, which is a cheat, but we'll overlook that minor sin.) As someone who was recently called out in a wedding toast for teaching her 8-year-old brother how to curse (YOU'RE WELCOME, WILLIAM), I approve.

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Idiotic and Inappropriate Reactions to the Malaysia Airlines Tragedy

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 15:45

Idiotic and Inappropriate Reactions to the Malaysia Airlines Tragedy

Chances are, when hearing the news yesterday about Malaysia Airlines plane being shot down over Ukraine, killing all 298 people on board, you had the standard reaction of shock and horror. You might have expressed said shock and horror privately among friends and coworkers, or publicly.

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On Tuesday, you can see Beyoncé’s iconic performance ensembles up close and personal — if you can sp

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 15:30

On Tuesday, you can see Beyoncé’s iconic performance ensembles up close and personal — if you can spring for a ticket to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. The museum announced a new display of the singer’s outfits from her 2013 SuperBowl performance as well as videos like “Crazy In Love” and “Single Ladies."

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Dating Naked Is Just a Destination Dating Show With Blurry Peen

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 15:15

Are you are unmarried, and therefore unhappy? Well, relax, because the television executives of the world are here to help. They are hard at work trying to fix the non-existent love crisis that is infecting The Youth and have given us shows like Dating Naked to help out. Isn't that considerate?

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Salon Tells Black Women to 'Straighten Up' Hair

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 15:00

Salon Tells Black Women to 'Straighten Up' Hair

The Hair Cuttery is not a member of the natural hair movement, it seems. Neal Carter spotted an ad clearly being targeted towards black women for a "Straightening Up" package in the window of the salon chain.

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Adrian Grenier Gets All Political About Kim Kardashian's Instagram

Fri, 07/18/2014 - 14:45

Adrian Grenier Gets All Political About Kim Kardashian's Instagram

To protest against economic inequality, actor Adrian Grenier posted a picture of Kim Kardashian posed in a similar manner as the subject of a 19th century painting.

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