There's not much to say about this except that the facial expressions are golden. To most Americans, he's the president of The United Stated. To Sasha and Malia he's just some embarrassing old dude talking about turkeys and oh my god, will you stop with the corny jokes. Oh my god. They are literally going to DIE if their friends see this.
Want a baby to look exactly like Angelina Jolie? The star isn't going to be giving you any of hers anytime soon, but TMZ reports that desperate parents (desperate for their kids to look like Jolie, so rich desperate parents) are willing to pay thousands upon thousands per egg in order to get a little Lara Croft in their lives.
Fried turkey is delicious but if you don't know how to cook it properly you could end up burning your house down. Here's proof in the form of five fiery GIFs, the most violent fried turkey disasters on the internet.
A version of this post was originally published on November 23, 2013. It has been updated and edited to reflect both the new year and to accommodate additional entries. Consider this the HD remake of the original post.
In today's Tweet Beat, a Guy Fieri Thanksgiving special, Katy Perry continues to try very hard and I'm not so sure Nacy Pelosi understands what "good for you" means in this context.
Garth Brooks was scheduled to appear on The Tonight Show's Thanksgiving episode, but has chosen to cancel his scheduled appearance because he says that performing would be "distasteful" considering the grand jury's decision not to indict Darren Wilson.
Baily and Bennett are in love. Baily and Bennett are four. Baily and Bennett are giving the rest of us a run for our money when it comes to penning sweet nothings to one's sweetheart. Who needs "you complete me" when you've got magic tricks and battling robots.
After nearly two decades as a highly successful published author, Jodi Picoult is out on yet another book tour (this time for her novel Leaving Time) and not holding back on kickass soundbites about how shitty the lit world tends to be for women writers. And she even has a special "go fuck yourself" saved for King Cornball, Nicholas Sparks.
It pains me to have to type that there may actually be a bourbon shortage, but we'll get through this together. The most important question to ask ourselves: Is this news real or bullshit?
Munchkin the shih tzu is already getting a start on his pre-thanksgiving diet, thanks to one of those sauna suits you always see at CVS and a treadmill. Munchkin is keeping active. Munchkin is really living life. Meanwhile, I am eating pudding in my underwear. What are you doing for your health today?
We've reached peak Sriracha, everyone. You can all go home. Please, please, if you are one of those people who incessantly seeks to Srirachize all of human existence, go the fuck home.
Seattle Mayor Ed Murray decided to pardon two packages of Tofurky for Thanksgiving because SEATTLE. Turkeys everywhere raised their beaks and wings in protest, shouting 'Who's gonna pardon us?!'
After years defending soldiers accused of drug crimes and sexual assault, Col. Don Christensen wanted to atone for his sins of freeing men who didn't deserve it. But when he turned the tables, the military was not so pleased.
Kanye West wears so many hats: musical mastermind, Mr. Kardashian, Yeezus and most recently, that rich asshole who ruins things for everybody.
Staten Island, known to most in the tri-state area as a mecca of subtlety and restraint, has in its borders a liquor depository/social gathering place called The Phunky Elephant, a bar that, until recently, boasted on its menu something called a "Roofie Colada." Some patrons, it turns out, were not pleased with their fun-loving nod to date rape.
Sabah, the Lebanese legend whose prolific singing and acting career lasted over 70 years, passed away at home in Beirut Wednesday morning, aged 87. She was, according to Beirut's Daily Star, "the first Arab singer to perform at Olympia in Paris, Carnegie Hall in New York, Piccadilly Theater in London and Sydney Opera House in Australia," and remained fabulous 'til the end.
Weekly-ish, a pre-approved, snap-judged music guide based on our very scientific, non-subjective Yes/No rating system. There's really no debating this, come on, stop.
What you're looking at is a bolt that has just set itself free and launched out of the engine. Are you shaking? I am.
Caption: Blue Ivy plays the Ghost of Christmas Future.