Judge Brown here, and boy am I ready to hammer out some judgment and seek justice in the name of glorious shade. In this week’s Shade Court, we have two people continuing to waste their time on a grown man who spells his name like a cartoon character, Erin Andrews calling out her boyfriend and Calvin Harris starting a pop music war.
Leonard Taylor has helped famous people throughout his career. When he was a personal bodyguard for celebrities like Uma Thurman and Mark Wahlberg, he kept them from physical harm as they wandered around in public. When he worked as a bouncer at celeb-heavy clubs owned by Barry Mullineaux that I can’t even imagine the interiors of, he helped them avoid run-ins with non-famous people who weren’t on the list. Oh, he also bought them coke. But he didn’t want to!
So far, our (hungover, sleep deprived) heroes are, in relative terms, coasting : none of the usual van trouble, broken cell phones, or robberies of tours past. This is not to say that all is right with the stars. Let’s watch as they cross an invisible border to a magical land where people still smoke cigarettes inside...
Jeb Bush wants to be your president. The lesser Bush, who’s in politics but hasn’t risen much higher than trying to “streamline the execution process” in Florida, knows that there are two things Americans really care about when it comes to voting for the leader of their country: issues and a trim body that any Republican would be proud to spank it to.
The season 1 finale of VH1’s Barely Famous, a mockumentary/reality parody starring quasi-celebrity sisters Erin and Sara Foster, aired this week. It’s flown slightly under the critical radar, but this frothy, shiny, altogether unchallenging show is counterintuitively, undeniably good.
America’s Youths are unusually endangered today, with a variety of societal and environmental factors threatening to really wreck their shit. Take a few minutes, turn your chair around Cool Teacher-style, and make the children and teens in your life aware of the following threats. That is, if they’re at home and not out oppressing each other or burglarizing homes for gold to make sweet grills.
Columbia University senior Paul Nungesser filed suit against the school yesterday , alleging that it refused to protect him from the harassment and hostile learning environment created by fellow student Emma Sulkowicz’s rape allegations against him, and her “Carry that Weight” performance art piece. Nungesser’s attorney, Andrew Miltenberg, has provided us with a full copy of the complaint in the suit.
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Fact: Unless you are a professional paleontologist, any six-year-old child in America can absolutely humiliate you at dinosaur trivia. Don’t feel bad; that includes Chris Pratt, who stars in the upcoming dino-stravaganza Jurassic World.
During a recent press conference for Avengers: Age of Ultron, Chris Evans and Jeremy Renner, like two giddy pickup artists on Tinder, referred to their fellow female Avenger as a “whore” and a “slut” for rejecting their characters’ romantic advances. The pair has since apologized.
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Paul Nungesser, the Columbia University student accused of rape by fellow student Emma Sulkowicz, whose mattress-carrying protest drew national attention, has filed a federal discrimination lawsuit against the school. Nungesser accuses the university of failing to protect him from what he calls Sulkowicz’s “harassment campaign.”
Grey’s Anatomy is a show that really likes to take it there, again and again. No storyline is too absurd. A cliffhanger about performing delicate surgery on a deer? Sure. Fave character happens to get a rare form of cancer? Why not. Everyone boning everyone boning everyone else boning your best friend in a closet or an elevator or an attic? Anything goes! It’s Grey’s!
Well, ABC’s Nashville limps on, and though the show’s paternity-obsessed sad-sack plotting leaves quite a bit to be desired, this season has nonetheless had its highlights: namely, Hayden Panettiere having a baby (named Cadence) and panicking at the prospect of maternal identity, Luke from the OC finally getting to explore his ~sexuality~, and Christina Aguilera’s guest spot as “Jade St. John,” a veteran pop star looking to break into country.
Hey Hollywood, your obsession with breast-y dresses have creeped their way into Nobel Peace Prize winning author Toni Morrison’s purview.
Several outlets are reporting the tragic news that 19-year-old Everybody Loves Raymond star Sawyer Sweeten has committed suicide. The actor, who played Geoffrey Barone on the CBS sitcom, “was visiting family in Texas. He went on the front porch and killed himself with a gunshot to his head.”
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When we get caught up in the humdrum repetition of our day-to-days, it can be easy to forget how different the lives—or deaths—of people in other parts of the world are. In China, funerals appear to be far more interesting than the ones people attend in the U.S. because they have strippers. These exotic dancers—some who even perform with snakes—are part of the ceremony to honor those who have passed. While a sexy striptease next to a loved one’s corpse may sound disrespectful to some, Chinese families believe it to be an act that results in good fortune for their relative’s afterlife. The more people that come to a funeral (lured by the promise of seeing live nude girls), the more clout the deceased will get on the other side. This sounds like the plot of a Rodney Dangerfield movie to me.
How many more of Bill Cosby’s sexual assault victims need to come out before he can be shipped off to some island inhabited by giant, bloodthirsty tarantulas? 50? 100? Three more women have recently come forward accusing Cosby of sexually assaulting them, bringing this horrifying roster of rape to a total of 41. In a conference held by attorney Gloria Allred on April 23, Janice Baker-Kinney, Marcella Tate and Autumn Burns all spoke out against the comedian, claiming he assaulted each of them in the ‘70s and ‘80s.
In light of the recent tension escalating over a scheduled American flag protest, Valdosta State University has cancelled all classes and business operations for Friday, April 24. The “Flags Over VSU” rally was organized as a response to last week’s incident when Michelle Manhart disrupted a group of black VSU students who were holding a protest against racism. The ex-Air Force sergeant and Playboy pinup was detained, but not charged by police after she grabbed an American flag the students were standing on as part of their demonstration.