I haven't been told enough lately that I'm wrong about everything and possibly responsible for some sort of internet war crime (other than by animal liberationists, and they don't count). Let's rectify that by talking about which soups are awesome and which are complete horseshit, shall we?
Welcome to Dachshund's Creek, where youthful dreams hang in the balance and love is as fleeting as the breeze whispering off the creek. Also there are Dachshunds, so it's totally awesome.
Guys, The Notebook—and therefore the entire treacly Nicholas Sparks Sob-tainment Industry—very nearly did not happen.
Yesterday, the internet collectively lost its mind after photos of a not-so recognizable Renée Zellweger surfaced out of the Elle Women in Hollywood Awards. Noting how different she looked from her apple-cheeked Bridget Jones days, everyone acknowledged the extreme pressures put on female actresses over the age of 40 and moved on with their lives ridiculed her appearance and could not stop fReaKing oUt.
In honor of Kim Kardashian's 34th birthday, Entertainment Tonight dug through the archives and found this gem of a homemade video of Kim Kardashian at her 8th grade graduation. In the video she proclaims she's the "dopest on the ropest" whatever the hell that means. And yes, she is sporting a Mandarin gown there.
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Actor and filmmaker Griffin Dunne is making a movie about his aunt, Joan Didion, called We Tell Ourselves Stories In Order to Live (the title of the film, you'll note, is a Didion quote).
Only Taylor Swift could accidentally release less than 10 seconds of nothing, sell it on iTunes and skyrocket to number one. We are living in magical, horrible times.
Which one of you cold, dead harpy bastards said love was dead? Oh, all of you? Well you were all wrong!
People touch the hair as Madame Tussauds unveils a new wax figure of Benedict Cumberbatch at Madame Tussauds on October 21, 2014 in London, England.
Danièle Watts and Brian James Lucas have both been charged with lewd conduct stemming from an incident with police in September.
"Do you know Frank Ocean? He is music!"
Remember that time that the Palins all got together to look at Russia from their house (and just wave to it a little) and instead of a nice gathering where everyone talked about what a hero Bristol was for abstaining from sex, it turned into a fight with some old man calling her a "cunt" and a "slut"? Here's audio.
Things have gotten so bad lately that people have lost faith in some longstanding American institutions. No, I'm not just talking about Congress and the Supreme Court — I'm talking about McDonald's and Coca-Cola.
A great deal has been written about cat calls in the past few months. From an awful directive for women to get over it , to a woman filming her catcallers, to Jessica Williams' fantastic how-to on dealing with dudes who catcall, it seems like the discussion has reached every form of media. And now, it's infiltrated the craft world.
Good evening: Tonight's squee is brought to you by this furiously masturbating panda.
In a 2011 deposition, Kesha swore under oath that she never had sex with Dr. Luke and said he never drugged her with a roofie.
A bullied child is every parent's worst nightmare, and when school meetings and disciplinary action is not enough, what's a concerned mother or father to do? Thank god there's Craigslist where, for the kingly sum of $15 an hour, anyone can find some "cool black kids" to meet their son at the 7/11.
In today's Tweet Beat, Yoko Ono visits a museum like only Yoko Ono can, Ron Howard also takes time to appreciate some art and Adele Dazeem is looking flawless.
Before we could recover from the ramifications of the Great Beyoncé Bang Situation of last week, we were blindsided with another snip of the fringe: Lady Gaga, who showed up in Manchester, England, last night wearing a pageboy and super asymmetrical bangs. A press release sent to Jezebel from Chicago hairstylist George Gonzalez claimed Gaga's "'micro bang' is a bold statement cut, and the right amount of texture is key to pulling them off." The Daily Mail wrote that Gaga "has clearly been influenced by Beyoncé Knowles."