I know I already posted one "most popular songs of 2013" mix, but I really love this one from DJ Earworm. It's kinda like someone took all your leftover Thanksgiving dishes and mixed them into one delicious mega meal of funky fabulousness. I'm a fan.
I know; that was dumb. She's so lovely it makes me HSDA!!#@U#KHDKASBHJSKHA.
If you're not prepared to be heartbroken, don't read the following. In the exact opposite of a holiday miracle, a woman unknowingly live-tweeted the death of her husband.
Finally, Awkwafina brings us unassailable proof that vaginas are the best at everything. Well, the best at farting and birthing (human) babies. Vaginas 1, Buttholes 0.
This is Lily, she is adorable and brilliant and has only been on this earth for a year. Here's to sixty more, you portly, precious pachyderm!
Aw man, not this human egg-fart again. Noted social butterfly and vulnerable-starlet-betrayer Sam Lutfi is back in the "news" again, having released a number of private texts that he claims are from a hysterical, emotionally dysfunctional Britney Spears. I don't know if they're actually from Britney or not, and I really really don't care—the entire point of having friends is that you can be less than your best self in front of them and they still know who you are as a human being. Friendship is safety. Sam Lutfi is a fucking ringwraith of friendship. SAM LUTFI WILL STAB YOUR EMOTIONS WITH A MORGUL BLADE.
So emotional! So moving! Whoever knew that Katy Perry's "California Gurls" was such poetry? Luckily, like a diamond in the rough, the true meaning of KP's ode to the ladies of the Golden State was spotted by comedian/songsmith/Jezebel favorite Eliot Glazer and now we all benefit.
In today's Tweet Beat, Miley Cyrus speaks the truth about the best couple's outfit that ever was, Crystal Hefner is friends with Spencer and Heidi and Chet Haze thinks it's funny that anyone would be paying attention to him.
So, turns out there's more to Busta Rhymes's "Pass The Courvoisier" than Monique punching him and Jamie Foxx's booty bounce (4:47 people); the rapper also helped further a Courvoisier revolution. Though this isn't new information to most Black Americans — anyone else attended a black event, asked for whiskey and received a confused face from the bartender? — Slate's "Pass The Courvoisier" article on the history of how cognac became popular is.
Because she wasn't done delighting fans of weed and...prison?, Jenji Kohan, the creator of Weeds and Orange is the New Black is now working on a "provocative period drama" for HBO about...Salem witches!
The woman who still goes by the name Ariella Alexander is still making the most of 15 minutes of fame; she was featured during Wednesday's episode of Bethenny to support her websites She's a Homewrecker and He's a Homewrecker, alongside some very angry women on both sides of this public shaming of sluts issue.
Have you seen all of the trailers for Lars Von Trier's seXXXy new movie Nymphomaniac? If you have, you'd definitely remember them because they're SO racy and SO edgy that they're literally IMPOSSIBLE to forget. Like, one red band trailer shows Shia LaBeouf's naked butt as he's doing it with a lady and another one shows that same lady spitting out semen after giving some dude a hardcore BJ in a train car. And all the while there's some pretty cool death metal song playing with a singer who goes, "OOOGGGGHHHH, NYMPHOMANIAC."
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The trailer for Disney XD's new Japanizi: Going, Going Gong plays like a specially made media installation to accompany a game of Uninformed Generalizations About Japanese Culture Bingo: Japanese man shouting in a kooky outfit! Sumo wrestlers! Ninjas! Guy hitting a gong!
It's the kind of moment the internet was made for.
Want that jacket. Want those shoes. Want that baby. Give me your baby, Beyonce. GIVE ME YOUR BABY.
Coming to the Sundance Film Festival: Camp X-Ray, a movie starring Kristen Stewart as a guard at Guantanamo who "forms an unlikely friendship with one of the detainees." Pretty sure he is not a vampire.
The buzz about Wednesday's episode of Katie devoted to the HPV vaccine far surpassed any the show's gotten in the one-and-a-half seasons it's been on, but for anyone looking for real drama, the actual substance was as boringly frustrating as the debate that's existed online about the vaccine.
Good news, prurient ones: Real Sex is back—hopefully. The news comes from Vulture (which ran a great oral history of the show a few months ago). Chris Moukarbel, whose credits include Me @ the Zoo, is making a pilot for a reboot, titled SEX // NOW. It'll run January 2 at 11 p.m, and the subject is cam girls.