Oh My Gossip

'Apparently Kid' Cashed In and Made a Pet Food Commercial

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:20

Well, you knew it was bound to happen eventually because memes have eaten the American Dream like a species of very determined bug: "Apparently Kid" Noah Ritter has parlayed his Internet celebrity into an ad for FreshPet, a natural pet food company. There are puppies!

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Your Gnarliest Poop Stories

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 15:00

Your Gnarliest Poop Stories

Everybody— even Beyoncé — poops. Sometimes things do not go well. Let's discuss it.

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World's Worst People Defiantly Wear Ray Rice Jerseys to Football Game

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:40

World's Worst People Defiantly Wear Ray Rice Jerseys to Football Game

The worst human beings in the world gathered to support one of their own last night, showing up to the Baltimore Ravens' home game proudly sporting their beloved Ray Rice jerseys as a show of support for the man who was caught on elevator surveillance video knocking his wife out with a punch to the face.

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Tennessee Is the Next Major Abortion Battleground

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:20

Tennessee Is the Next Major Abortion Battleground

Because it's a typical day in America, awful anti-abortion legislation has sprouted up to menace women's health and safety. This time, the anti-choice lunacy takes place in Tennessee — where proposed legislation could amend the state constitution in order to give anti-abortion zealots free reign to pass draconian restrictions on women's reproductive health.

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The World's Cutest Dog Cost $13,000 and Is Owned by Paris Hilton

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 14:00

The World's Cutest Dog Cost $13,000 and Is Owned by Paris Hilton

Big doings for Paris Hilton: She has just purchased a tiny, tiny Pomeranian named Mr. Amazing for $13,000. Which is a stupid amount of money but OMFG LOOK AT THE FLUFFY WUFFY!!!! It's like a cotton ball with googly eyes glued on!

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A Comprehensive List of Foods That Look Like Dicks, Ranked

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:40

A Comprehensive List of Foods That Look Like Dicks, Ranked

You know it, I know it and even your great-aunt Marlene who wears too much powder knows it: Some foods look like dicks. Delicious edible penises. Culinary cock. So let's just all be grown-ups about it and rank them. Because that's what grown-ups do when they're not busy crying themselves to sleep.

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Misty Copeland on Being Black in Ballet: 'People Are Narrow Minded'

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:20

 'People Are Narrow Minded'

The amazing Misty Copeland recently went on NPR Morning Edition, where she discussed her experiences being the American Ballet Theatre's first black soloist in two decades.

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'Girl on Girl Movies' Are Totally Making You Gay, Young Ladies

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:15

'Girl on Girl Movies' Are Totally Making You Gay, Young Ladies

Are you a young woman who sometimes watches movies with lesbian relationships? Do you consider yourself lesbian or bisexual? Well, let me tell you, you might be wrong. It's probably just the "girl on girl movies," you've been watching. At least if you believe Pat Robertson, America's creepy old uncle everyone wishes would stop coming to family functions.

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Here's Your First Look at the Dick-Centric Veronica Mars Spinoff

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 13:00

Here's Your First Look at the Dick-Centric Veronica Mars Spinoff

"Dick as a private eye? That's kind of a tough sell," says Kristen Bell in the trailer for Play It Again, Dick, the new webseries from Veronica Mars creator Rob Thomas. Kristen, you couldn't be more wrong.

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Facebook Takes Down Page Showing How to Use a Female Condom

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:40

At the University of Chicago, Patty Fernandez runs an organization called Tea Time and Sex Chats. "What we do is talk about sexual health [and ] pleasure. We also have a branch that deals with sexual assault (the UChicago Clothesline Project) on college campuses," Fernandez explained in an email.

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​How to Get Over an Ex By Obsessing About Them Even More

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:20

​How to Get Over an Ex By Obsessing About Them Even More

Conventional wisdom usually instructs jilted lovers to do anything but fixate on their ex: Get busy, volunteer, sleep around, move to Finland. But what if instead you were encouraged to (anonymously) dive deep into the rabbit hole of your pain and — get this — stay as long as it takes? Now you can.

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Malala's Attackers Have Been Arrested

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 12:00

Malala's Attackers Have Been Arrested

The gang of garbage humans responsible for attempting to murder teen activist Malala Yousafzai has been arrested, according to Pakistani army officials. One down, a depressingly high number to go.

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$150 Will Get You This Bottle of Sparking Non-Alcoholic Wine With GOLD

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:40

$150 Will Get You This Bottle of Sparking Non-Alcoholic Wine With GOLD

The next time you find yourself dining in Dubai (as one does), consider wetting your whistle with a $150 bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling white wine, with flecks of edible 24-carat gold leaf. You see, the bubbles make the gold dance, like a very expensive snow globe.

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Robin Givens Has Been in Janay Rice's Shoes

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:20

Robin Givens Has Been in Janay Rice's Shoes

20 years ago, Robin Givens was carried out of a hotel after being knocked unconscious by her ex-husband Mike Tyson. Givens, an actress and longtime anti-domestic violence activist says social media makes it a bit easier for abuse victims to be believed nowadays — it was impossible to miss the video of Ray Rice punching his partner Janay, after all.

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Susan Miller’s Illness Has Astrology Fans Losing Their Goddamn Minds

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 11:00

Susan Miller’s Illness Has Astrology Fans Losing Their Goddamn Minds


Susan Miller is the unrivaled Queen of Astrology. She is known for her affable delivery, her reverence in the world of fashion and, most importantly, her accurate horoscope forecasts which she publishes monthly to her site Astrologyzone.com.

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Freak Mutant Cat Survives 17 Story Fall From Building

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:40

Freak Mutant Cat Survives 17 Story Fall From Building

A man in Canada named Joel Isfeld has a cat named Cleo. On Sunday, Cleo did what all cats seem to consistently insist on doing. Rather than simply enjoy the pampered life of luxury Isfeld created for her, she went to the absolute most dangerous, scary part of the apartment and sauntered around the balcony. Then she took a 17 story leap to the ground below. JESUS CHRIST, CAT.

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How to Bone If You've Got a Bad Back

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:20

How to Bone If You've Got a Bad Back

News you can actually use, since it's practically the weekend and why not spend Saturday indulging in some naked wrestling: Researchers have finally tackled the thorny problem of finding the best sex positions for people with bad backs.

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Dear Men: Having a Daughter Does Not Make You a Girl Expert

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 10:00

 Having a Daughter Does Not Make You a Girl Expert

Hey dads, when you have a daughter I gather it feels like a front seat to The Truth about all little girls, a gift to help undo your previously unconsidered assumptions about them. It is hard, but you must resist the urge to take this new knowledge and generalize even more.

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Janelle Monáe Teaches Sesame Street the Power of Perseverance

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 09:40

Bert can't sing the right notes. Cookie Monster can't bake the right cookies. Elmo can't do math. That is, until a tuxedo-clad Janelle Monáe arrives on Sesame Street to teach them "The Power of Yet."

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Oscar Pistorius Found Guilty of Culpable Homicide

Jezebel.com - Fri, 09/12/2014 - 09:20

Oscar Pistorius Found Guilty of Culpable Homicide

Yesterday, a judge ruled that South African sprinter Oscar Pistorius was not guilty of "intentional homicide" in the death of his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp. Boo! But today, she announced that she found him guilty of "culpable homicide," which means he's going to prison, maybe for a long time. Yay! Also, good to know that in South Africa, verdicts are presented like multi-part season finales that air during sweeps.

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