
Attorney General Andrew Cuomo's investigation into Governor Paterson's contact with Sherr-una Booker is, reportedly, so far at least, coming up kind of short. Booker told investigators that she "didn't feel the governor threatened her," and other sources say that the conversations that Paterson's aides had with Booker "were too vague to nail down a witness tampering case." And one other thing assisting Paterson: his blindness, finally! Since he doesn't use e-mail (or texting, for that matter), there are no records of what Paterson said to Booker only witness recollections, which aren't as helpful for nailing down any explicit threats that may have been made to Booker. Some people thought Paterson's blindness was a hindrance to his ability to govern, but who knows, it may turn out to be the thing that keeps him in office.
Paterson scandal: 'Teflon Dave' may not face tamper charges regarding Booker domestic abuse case [NYDN]
Read more posts by Dan Amira
Filed Under: the cuddle muddle, blindness, david paterson, politics, sherr-una booker

We've known for a long time that there was something special about Jamie Jungers, one of Tiger Woods's most outspoken mistresses. It's not just that her name sounds like a euphemism for boobs, or that she was the first to claim she was "in love" with Tiger. No — there's something else about her. And Howard Stern saw it, too, apparently. In his Tiger Woods Mistress Competition and Fashion Show yesterday, he crowned Jungers the best mistress of them all — leaving poor Jaimee Grubbs and some call girl in the dust. (Can call girls really be called mistresses? We guess Howard Stern, of anyone, would know.) What is it about Jamie that is so special?
It's that she knows exactly what we want to know, and dishes it out. From the Post's recap of the Stern show:
She also said that she was with Tiger the night that his dad died in 2006. She claimed that he had gone to visit his father, Earl, in the hospital hours before he passed away. He then went to visit her and had sex. She said she was in bed with him at about 2 or 3 a.m. when he got the call that his father died. She said it was an awkward moment for them.
An awkward moment? An awkward moment during sex is when both people have to ignore strange noises that are created by air pockets between two bodies. Finding out your father died while you are having sex is something else entirely.
But it wasn't just the willingness to tell that type of upsetting story that makes Jamie a winner. It's the fact that she, of all the mistresses, was the first to tell us that for Tiger Woods, the distance of nine inches is more than just the length of a gimme putt.
The Mistress Pageant [Howard Stern]
Read more posts by Chris Rovzar
Filed Under: jaimee grubbs, jamie junger, loredana jolie, skank fortnight, the one whose name sounds like boobs, tiger catches tale, tiger woods, woods hole

Who would have thought that the newest way to combat bedbug infestations would not only be way more efficient than human exterminators, but would also be ... super cute?! Bedbug-sniffing dogs, which the Times charmingly refers to as “adorable yet stunningly accurate," are the latest trend in bedbug removal, as they (well, the well-trained ones, at least) are able to detect a single live bug or egg with 96 percent accuracy.
And since there has been a recent uptick (bug puns!) in bedbug infestations in the city, companies using these dogs are seeing an increase in business to search for what some have called “the pest of the century.” The Times spotlights Bed Bug Inspectors, a six-month-old company that has “vetted hotels, college dorms and Midtown office buildings, suburban homes, bare-bones Brooklyn rentals and tony Manhattan co-ops.” The company — which is not affiliated with an exterminator — charges $350 for a residential inspection. And their dog-training process is more rigorous than you might think:
"In two weeks training with Cruiser and Freedom, [trainers] Ecker and Rincon learned how to hide live hives of bedbugs — little gangs of bugs tucked into vials fitted with mesh covers, so the scent can travel, but the bugs stay put — and work with the dogs in constantly changing scenarios (hiding bugs in high cupboards, in drawers, under rugs and so forth). Like all scent-detecting dogs, Cruiser and Freedom work for food; put another way, they are fed only when they find their target, which keeps them accurate and keen on their jobs."
Okay. We were kind of into the OMG DOGS! cuteness of the whole thing
until we got to this “live vials of bedbugs” stuff. It was a foolish thought to begin with, probably; nothing can be cute when bedbugs are involved.
Dogs That Detect Bedbugs [NYT]
Read more posts by Josh Duboff
Filed Under: must love dogs, bed bugs, gross things, pest of the century, puppies!!!!!!
House Democrats voted Wednesday to ban earmarks to private companies, in light of backlash over runaway spending and ethics scandals. Earmarks are used by lawmakers to direct federal money to specific pet projects. "[Their elimination] ensures that for-profit companies no longer reap the rewards of congressional earmarks and limits the influence of lobbyists on members of Congress," House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. Republicans — who will hold an intra-party vote on the issue Thursday — have called earmarks “a symbol of a broken Washington” and are looking to ban them across the board, not just to for-profit companies. [WP, NYT]
Read more posts by Josh Duboff
Filed Under: earmarks, politics

In an incident that makes Dan Rather’s "watermelons" comment look positively innocuous, Rush Limbaugh made a blatantly racist comment about Governor David Paterson on his radio show today.
After a caller contended that Paterson had the authority to replace former Representative Eric Massa (note: This isn’t true — all Paterson can do is call a special election to fill the seat), Limbaugh engaged in the following conversation with the caller:
Limbaugh: Are you sure that Paterson appoints or is there a special election?
Caller: I am reasonably sure that Paterson will be appointing the replacement, assuming that he, you know, doesn't resign in the next 60 or 90 days.
Limbaugh: Let's assume you're right. So, David Paterson will become the massa ...
Caller: Yes.
Limbaugh: ... who gets to appoint whoever gets to take Massa's place. So, for the first time in his life, Paterson's gonna be a massa. Interesting, interesting.
Yikes!
Rush Limbaugh races to inject racial joke about Paterson into Massa mess [NYDN]
Read more posts by Josh Duboff
Filed Under: rush limbaugh, david paterson, eric massa, racism, scandals

Just when things were getting good! The House Ethics Committee said Wednesday that the investigation into former congressman Eric Massa, accused of groping and sexually harassing male staffers in his office, is over. Massa’s resignation means he is “outside the reach” of any punishment that the committee might come up with, according to the Washington Post. The announcement could set off a "political battle," the Post suggests, as House Republicans said this morning they wanted the investigation into the “salty old sailor” to continue, so that the public could learn who among the House Democratic leadership knew about the allegations of harassment and how they responded. Well, now that this is over, can someone in Washington please launch an investigation into figuring out what "snorkeling" actually entails?! [44/WP]
Read more posts by Josh Duboff
Filed Under: messa, eric massa, politics, scandals

Well, we know one thing that ain’t slim about Carlos Slim Helu his wallet! (LOL!) The Mexican tycoon has nabbed the top spot on the 2010 Forbes list of the richest men in the world, marking the first time in the past sixteen years that an American hasn’t been pegged the most wealthy.
Slim — who, in addition to a number of telecom holdings and other companies, owns about 7 percent of the New York Times — has a fortune estimated at $53.5 billion, which grew by $18.5 billion over the past year (yeah, let that sink in for a second). Bill Gates, worth a mere $53 billion, has the No. 2 spot, an unfamiliar home for the Microsoft co-founder, who has been at the top of the list fourteen of the last fifteen years. Warren Buffett came in third, with an estimated $47 billion.
And Mayor Michael Bloomberg, 23rd on the overall list, was the top New Yorker, with an estimated personal fortune of $18 billion.
Mayor Bloomberg again wealthiest New Yorker on Forbes billionaire list [NYP]
Carlos Slim Helu dethrones Bill Gates as world's richest man [Forbes.com]
Read more posts by Josh Duboff
Filed Under: obscene wealth, bill gates, carlos slim helu, forbes, michael bloomberg